Love is like a cancer… it grows
Love is like a drugs. It make you float in cloud nine, It can make you laugh but most of all it can make you crazy in different ways
Love is like pringles, once it pop you can’t stop
Love is like coffee it is bitter sweet.
LOve is a wound that leaves a scar
Love is a pain that you can use as a tourniquet for your sufferings
Love is the thing that will make your world turn around. Even if it made you feel dizzy as long as your world goes around that person.
Love is like a flower in the season that comes. It withers in falls, it dies in winter however it blossoms in spring and bloom in summer.
Knowing all of these… I realized that…
dati love is blind lang ngayon nag evolved na cya iba ka na love… ganyan ka na…

Flowers will wither
plants may die
seasons may change
and so have I
things may be differ
from the day they used to be
yet sooner or later it will be you and me…

To those who will read this will be puzzled for my mind right now is filled with all the words that I want to tell the person. I hope that you will always be fine. I will miss you beyond words. The seal will be faraway and its too hard to accept it. It will no longer be an ordinary day. The days will change, not as normal as it was before. Down I may be this coming days, yet I will remember the days that spent time with you to keep this life working. I will take care of the words that you says, I will make sure that the words that you says will always be fine. For only I and the words that you says will be left here for a while. Take care of yourself, I know that one of this days I will see you again. Take care

Days from now I will be ending the chapter of this blog plus another year will be added to my age. For three weeks I have been bothered by questions, like what is happening to me and what is going on to my life. I’m not consistent in attending mass. Some of the promises that I have made was broken. I have lay out a plan and yet I’m not able to follow some of it. Before I thought everything was perfectly planned and it would be easy for me to achieve my goals, yet its not. There are lots of obstacles to pass through, test to prove my worth and things that shows me my limitation and boundaries… preventing me from achieving my goals.

These things come to my realization when I did not go out with my friends for that day and got home doing nothing but to sleep. When I woke up I feel so empty. Something is not there. Something is missing. I feel so hollow. so empty… Then I remember the advices that was given to me, "the only thing that is consistent in this world is change", "you must be professional in the office, be friendly not friendship for you or your friends will not be on the same company forever. Eventually either you or your friend will leave the company." and "Everything in the office is temporary. You must not invest your everything to it, especially your feelings". Those advices in such a  way is true. But I’m not that kind of person, my friends motivates me it is to them where I get my strength to stay… but they say it will be the cause of my failure… damn! I’m sorry but I will stay the same, I will just enjoy every moments while I’m still with them… while they are still there.

Yet now the feeling of being hollow still their… emptiness. I was thinking of looking back into my past and know what is missing probably it will help me.

From the ashes of the fallen angel arises a shadow

a shadow that is so dark that it covers the light

the light makes everyone see, the light that makes clarity

the shadow starts to consume everything…

everything in its path and nothing was able to stop it

The dawn has broken yet still the darkness prevails

No can see No can hear neither can feel

a formation was noticed from the shadow

a formation of a man… a nomad

Nothing is left to live for… why should I stay

And so it has ended a chapter needs to be close

to open a new one for the nomad…

Once I dreamth of death

but now it dreams of me

and only rats and rotting flesh

can hear my silent plea…

Baket kaya ganun? Dumadating sa punto na halos wla ka nang masabi, wala
ka nang magawa kundi manahamik at itago ang iyong nadarama. Madaming
tao, kaibigan, kamag-anak, kapamilya pati na kapuso ang nagsasabi syo na
sbihin mo ang iyong isinasaloob, pero nde mo pa rin magawa. Parang
napakadali naman kasing gawin eh. Kung sila kaya ang nasa kalagayan mo
ngayon magagawa kaya nila yung mga sinasabi nila. Siguro yung iba sa kanila
kaya, pero hindi naman kasi ikaw sila eh. Iba ka, madaming bagay na
hindi mo pa kayang gawin pero sigurado ka namang madami din bagay na kaya
mong gawin na hindi nila kaya. Pero gayun pa man hindi yun ang solusyon
dito. Baket naman kasi hindi naging alerto nung umpisa palang. Hinayaan
na mangyari itong lahat. Kasi naman hindi mo alam na hahantong sa
ganito, ang alam mo hanggang dun lang un eh… pero ngayon nde na. Lumalala
na, hindi mo na mapigilan. Dumadating nga din sa punto na natutulala ka
na lang at mapapa-isip sabay tanong sa sarili ano ba ang pagkakamali
mo? ano bang nagawa mo? ano ang dapat mong gawin nagyon para maayos ulit
ang lahat? Pero hanggang isip ka na lang. Minsan nagsasawa ka na
kakaisip, pupunta sa ibang lugar pero hindi mo alam yung lugar na pupuntahan
mo ay ang lugar din na makakapagpapaalala syo nang iyong isinasaloob.
Syempre lilipat ka nang lugar, pero pagdating dun may makikita ka na
isang bagay na makakapagpaalala na naman syo. Ang hirap nang ganun, halos
wala kang ligtas. Gagawa ka ulit nang paraan, makikipag usap sa ibang
tao, magsisipag sa trabaho at maghahanap nang bagong libangan. Pero
pagkatapos makipag-usap sa ibang tao, pagkatapos nang trabaho, at
pagkatapos mong magalaro nang bagong libangan, pag nabakante ka na… siya na
naman ang nasa isip mo. Ayoko na! nahihirapan na ako… hindi ko na alam
pa yung dapat kong gawin. Hindi naman kasi ako makwento tulad nang iba,
hindi ko magawang mapatawa ka, hindi ako makapagbigay nang magandang
payo, at hindi kita matulungan sa lahat nang problem mo. Pero gayun pa
man kung kailangan mo nang isang taong makikinig sayo yung tipong
ibubuhos yung buong atensiyon niya syo, taong makakasama pag naramdaman mo na nag-iisa ka, taong aalalahanin ka sa lahat nang oras, sabihin mo lang
dahil ikakasaya kong matulungan at makasama ka. Pero pagnagsawa ka na,
sabihin mo lang lalayo ako. Layo na pede ko muling marining ang
iyong pagtawag sa akin. Nandito lang ako kung sakaling may kailangan.

Pasensiya na hindi ko magawang masabi nang diretso sa iyo… hindi ko magawang maamin ang lahat…

The season has started to change,
the growth in spring is done…
the warm of summer is already gone…
autumn has ended
And now the coldness of winter has started…

I will miss the growth of trees in spring
the season where you will see the flowers blossoming
hear the peaceful sound of the river flowing
while nature imbue itself with the colors of the rainbow

In my heart I kept the warm of summer
the memories of fun and laughter
the time we spent together
the moment I thought it will last forever…

then autumn came and made some more changes
slowly the leaves fall from the trees
later on what left are roots, trunk and twigs…
it seems the trees are dying…

Slowly the wind started to freeze
the movement from the river starts to seize
and now everything is so pale… so gray… no life
winter has arrived…

the temperature in winter is so cold…
so cold that it will make you numb…
so numb that you can’t feel your existence…
yet I must get used to it…

for how long must I patiently wait…
wait until the next season comes…
where I’m hoping to see the trees growing
and experienced the fun and laughter again…

Being far from you
makes me realize
how important you are to me…
I miss you…

You are just a scar…
a wound from the past…
let me move on…
for several times you have been haunting me
for several times I have conquered you
and for several times you have defeated me…
I hope this will be last time I will encounter you
Oh dear pain…
why did you accursed me with this.
feeling of hatred in every anger…
remorse in every hatred…
what will be the worse thing to come…
death?
she is a friend that I have been longing to see…
a part of my life that will complete me….
too much…
it hurts…
it hurts…
no more…
no more…
please stop it!

God works in myterious ways. If you pray to achieve something, you will never know that you are heading the right path until God informs you. Yet He will not go down here on earth for that. So He will send someone in this world to help you. I’m lucky I was not so blind to see that person and not so deaf to hear what God wanted to inform me. It is a blessing in disguise. You will never know that a person was sent by God until that person makes you realized what you are doing. Whether you are on the right path or on the left path.

Just now, that person informed that I’m about to loss track of my path. And I realized that I was really about to. That person reminds me of my path. I’m really thankful that person was here to help me. I just hope that person will take care for that person is special. That person answered my prayers by putting me back on track.

It will always be a mystery on how God will answer our prayers. We may thought that God is not listerning attentively, yet we are the one who are not listening attentively. God grants our wishes in mysterious ways so we must be always be open for this kind of opportunity.